Objectives:

To understand the importance of secrets and find out what happens, when they become known to other people.

Length:

About 90 minutes.

Materials:

A4 sheets of paper. If possible, also envelopes.

Process:

Introduction: everyone has secrets. They often keep them to themselves and don’t share them with many people. And if they do, they hope that the secret would remain between them. Unfortunately, amounts of material, which compromises or diminishes some person, are increasingly more available on various types of media. Even secrets of other people made public. This violates personal privacy and dignity.

Each participant gets a sheet of paper. They are given a task of writing down a secret. Immediately inform that this is strictly for themselves and no one else. Give some time to complete the task. Then the sheet of paper is folded (and enveloped, if possible). Then everyone sits on their secret. Ask how they feel, when the secret is safe. Then ask to stand up and leave the envelopes, where they are. Then ask again how they feel, when their secret is a bit further away. Then ask to switch seats, leaving the sheets, where they are. Then ask again, how they feel about their secret on that sheet of paper. Then ask everyone to sit down on the envelopes closest to them. Ask how they feel again. Then ask to take the other person’s sheet of paper from under one’s bottom. Ask how they feel again. Then ask to return to their sheet of paper. You can suggest sharing their secrets with others. But this is not mandatory. Leave space for individual decisions.

Summary:

Summary questions:
1. How did you feel writing down your secret on a piece of paper?
2. Was it difficult to trust another person, holding your sheet of paper? 3. Did you feel tempted to read someone else’s secret?
4. How do you feel sharing your secret?
5. How do you feel upon hearing other secrets?

We often hear other people’s secrets, but cannot always appreciate them. We are not always aware of how difficult the other person finds it to share and how many barriers they have to cross to share it. If someone has entrusted you with their secret, save it and appreciate the trust shown to you. Having secrets does not always bring positive outcome. Sometimes sharing is much easier than carrying it with you, because it may weigh you down. Here the media is often detrimental, because we could notice other people’s intimate secrets being made public in order to humiliate them. That is particularly common on Facebook with photos or videos of other people, doing something that they wouldn’t want others to see.

It’s important for the group to understand that secrets, even the smallest, are a person’s private business. If they share them with others, they hope that these secrets will stay with them alone. Perhaps the group can share their own life experience on certain secrets going public and the negative outcome this had on certain people. Or you could look for such examples on the media.